Random Acts of Kindness
I have said before that I write in my head all the time. As a matter of fact I have been writing this post for the past two weeks in my head. When I was flying to Florida for our vacation I really wanted to write this story and I just lost it and started crying so badly I just couldn’t do it. I am warning you in advance this is a happy/sad story.
On September 13th Dr. Karl Stockhausen passed away at the tender age of 28 from melanoma. I am not sure if I had ever met him and I did not know him. So why did I cry my eyes out on an airplane on the day of his funeral? It is all because of a random act of kindness.
13 years ago when I was remodeling the house that is now the studio, it was a rather trying time for me personally. That project just about killed me (I could write a whole book about the idiot contractors I was working with). No really, I have the physical scars (I had to have back surgery from an injury during the remodeling and moving) and the emotional toll that process took on me was overwhelming. I am such a firm believer that “from all bad things good things come.” The proof of that belief is how beautiful our studio building is and how much the business has grown and excelled since we moved into our current location. But it was not an easy process. It was December of 1996 about 10 days before Christmas, I was exhausted, broke, in pain and working on stripping paint in the new place. I had also worked a full day being a photographer at the old at the Northville Road studio. I was totally fried that evening. During the remodeling I had made an acquaintance with this super nice young guy named Luke (he wanted to rent the apartment from me upstairs when I got it finished) and just he stopped by to see me that evening.
Luke figured out that I was pretty much at the end of my rope and I had not eaten dinner yet. He asked me to come to his house around the corner and have dinner with his family. I remember asking him if it would be OK if he just brought me home for dinner (I had never met his parents or family). I was so puzzled. We never just picked up strangers and brought them home for dinner at my house. But I was hungry and totally out of it anyway. He assured me it would be fine and off we went to his house for dinner.
Luke’s last name is Stockhausen and I was meeting his parents Bill and Carol Jean and several of his siblings for the first time that night. I honestly don’t know how many siblings Luke has or who was there (there were several teenage and younger kids at dinner that night). Karl may have been there, I don’t remember. We ate some kind of warm and wonderful dinner in a bowl (I don’t remember what is was and it does not matter). It’s not just that the Stockhausen’s fed me dinner; it’s that they took in this tired, exhausted and wounded bird and showed me so much kindness. I was a total stranger they did not know and they welcomed me like I was a long lost relative. It was close to Christmas and after dinner they did something else I had never seen. One of the younger children picked up the bible and read from the bible a Christmas passage.
I have no memory of what I ate or what was read, but I totally remember how it made me feel. It made me feel loved (by God and by a family of total strangers) and it made me know that this crazy time in my life would pass and that I could get through it. It was a total random act of kindness that had such a profound effect on me.
This is why the death of someone I did not even know has had such an effect on me. I am so deeply sorry for the entire Stockhausen family. I am just sick that wonderful parents like Bill and Carol Jean have to deal with the death of a child. No parent should ever have to do that. It’s just not the natural order of things. I feel so sorry for his siblings to have lost their brother. I feel horrible for Karl’s fiancée losing her love. I am sure that the loss of Karl will leave a hole in their family that will last forever. I am also sure that the strength and faith of these amazing people will comfort them and bring them through this horrible and difficult time for them.
Back to what I said in the beginning, I firmly believe “from bad things good things come.” When a door shuts a window opens. I have done a good thing because of Karl’s death by telling you this story. It reminds me that my actions and words do have profound effects on others. It also reminds me to be the kind of person whose dinner table is always open to strangers in need. It makes me want to go out of my way to do any random act of kindness for others. I am reminded yet again to put as much good and positive energy as I can out in the world.
I think that you now understand why I have been so profoundly affected by the entire Stockhausen family and why I totally lost it on the airplane. I challenge you to put some good out there and do a few “Random Acts of Kindness” on your journey called life. I ask you to have the kind of family who opens its doors to strangers in need. I hope that you can have a big pot of kindness always cooking on your stove of life. You just never know whose life you may be changing for the better. Until next time, be well.
Comments
David Humphrey commented on October 1st, 2009
Angela, thank you for sharing your story. It is a reminder that we are all here for a greater purpose than our own. Also, thank you for being a friend! :)
Lissa Carter-Julius commented on October 9th, 2009
When we depart from our life on earth all that is left is the memories, impressions, and connections that were created. How wonderful that your paths crossed - if only in knowing his last name. How unfair that a young life (and we presume a good life) was given such a short time with us all. From bad comes good: of this I am certain, too. Thank you for sharing.
Rose MacLeod commented on October 13th, 2009
Thanks for sharing that story....we all want to be a little more like that family....and this story just reminds us to become more aware of all of our actions and to live a better life. Off to put on a pot of kindness.
Juliet Culp commented on November 4th, 2009
I am crying as I write this. I am Karl's oldest sister and he would have agreed whole-heartedly with you. Please take a moment to get a glimpse of his life at http://DrKarlStockhausen.com and if you have a few moments to be inspired go to the videogallery and listen to his white coat speech.
domkistegna commented on April 3rd, 2011
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